An Obsession Realized

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I never meant to cheat on my wife. It wasn’t the plan. I doubt very much anyone would see it that way though, knowing the full story. I made it happen. I don’t deny that. It wasn’t a drunken one-night stand (although there was alcohol involved) or a foolish mistake. It took months of work and required me to use and abuse every tool available to me. I never seriously thought it’d end with me cheating on my wife though. I just wanted to be close to Julie.

It started in earnest the moment I laid my eyes on her. Each year we bring in a large batch of new hires, and on their first day they’re given a tour of the building. Since we pay well and hire 18 and over, no degree required, we tend to get a lot of employees in their late teens and early twenties. The guys who work here always pay a lot of attention during the tours, curious to see the new girls.

I stood up as I heard the group round the corner to my side of the building. My eyes were immediately drawn to a pretty girl in the middle of the group. She was short, with shoulder-length sandy blonde hair, pale skin, freckles, full lips and a very cute, round face. She wore jeans and a t-shirt (our dress code is nonexistent), which showed off a nice figure and several tattoos. She was stunning, and as I stared I felt something almost familiar about her I couldn’t place.

“Hey Robert.” I said, getting one of my employee’s attention. “You recognize anyone from the new group?” Robert stood up from his desk and looked them over. We get a lot of rehires, so a lot of familiar faces show back up.

“Hmm…” He said, staring intently. “I don’t think so.”

“Yea, me neither.” I said. Before I’d realized it I left my desk and headed over to the group, with no clear motive besides getting a better look at her. I walked right by her, headed down a hallway, put on a “I just realized I’ve forgotten something” act and headed back to my desk.

The last time I’d had a response that strong to seeing a woman was the first time I’d seen my wife Debbie. She too had been a new employee at our company four years prior, and the first time I walked by her desk I did a cartoonish double-take, perhaps seeing in her both a beautiful woman and a kindred spirit. It felt like I had been sucker-punched, and to this day I can recall exactly what she looked like in that moment. I don’t know that it was love at first site, but it was a defining moment in my life.

At the time I was taken, having been with my previous girlfriend Alexis for five years. She was beautiful, funny and outgoing. She was also a compulsive liar and a cheater. I had put up with her bullshit for years because I thought she was the one, but within two months of meeting Debbie and being reminded what was out there, I’d left her. Less than a month later Debbie and I were officially a couple. A year later we were married.

Eventually, as it always does, the bliss we felt early in our relationship began to fade. My wife suffers greatly with depression, and the passion she displayed in our first year together seemed a distant memory going into our fourth. If I were to be honest with myself I believe it was her sadness that drew me to her as much as anything else. I saw a damaged young girl and I wanted to swoop in and save her. Life isn’t a fairy tale though, and there isn’t a happily ever after. Love is work.

I love my wife, but I don’t think she’s my soul mate. I don’t believe in soul mates. The world is too large a place, and there are far too many women in it, for me to believe that there is just one woman out there for me. I do think though that there are people out there that you just click with, and that’s how it is with my wife. We click. We have our good days and we have our bad days, but we click. I love her, and although it’s possible I could be happier with someone else, I know I could be a lot more miserable too. She loves me and would never be unfaithful to me. I have no desire to leave her.

Seeing Julie reminded me so much of the feeling I had the first time I’d seen my wife, which would turn out to be appropriate.

For the next few months I saw Julie rarely, and most days not at all. We worked in separate departments in separate parts of the building. As a manager I’m responsible for my team of fifteen people, and I didn’t have many reasons to interact with employees outside of my team and department.

I did take advantage of the ones I did have though. The first time I talked to her was two months after she’d started. I was assigned the task of implementing a new procedure for employees across our building. My boss wanted me to run my plan by a large number of employees to make sure they understood it before we pushed the process site-wide. I, of course, went straight to Julie with it.

Julie, being new, didn’t really understand process or how it would apply to her. Truthfully it wouldn’t, not for awhile, but there was a benefit in seeing if it was simple enough that new employees could understand it. Mainly though I just wanted to talk to her. Escort I had her read it over then spent about ten minutes talking with her about it. I have no memory of what she said, or what I said. Mainly what I remember is how blue her eyes were.

It was several months more before my next interaction with her. Julie had been performing well and had gained a reputation as a hard worker. I had been placed in charge of a new team and was looking to recruit from several other departments that were now overstaffed. My mind immediately went to Julie, but I needed to go through the proper channels so it wouldn’t raise any flags. I reached out to her manager and asked for recommendations. He mentioned six people, one of whom was Julie.

I sent her a message asking her if she could come speak to me. I frequently keep my wedding band in my pocket, since it has never fit right. I was suddenly aware of the fact that it wasn’t on my hand, and made the conscious decision not to take it out. She came by, looking beautiful as ever, but the first thing I noticed was her employee badge hanging from a Flight of the Conchords lanyard.

“Hey Julie. Take a seat. ” I said, gesturing to the chair next to me. I had talked to her the one time before, but it had been brief and months earlier. I doubted very much she had been waiting for an opportunity to speak with me again as I had been with her, so I reintroduced myself. “I’m Joel.” I said, extending my hand.

“Hi.” She said warmly, shaking my hand. Her hand was soft in mine, and I held it maybe a second longer than was normal. She didn’t seem to notice. “We’ve actually met once before I think.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked, aiming for nonchalance. “That’s right. Didn’t you help with the standardization process?”

“I don’t know if I helped. ” She laughed.

“Sure you did.” I said, smiling. “I love the lanyard by the way.”

“Thanks!” She said, grabbing it and looking down at it. “I found it on Amazon. Love that show.”

“Same here. So few people seem to know about it.”

“I know. I’ve introduced it to so many of my friends.” She said.

In a normal conversation this is where I’d say that I introduced it to my wife, and she loved it, but I didn’t bring her up. It wasn’t that I wanted to hide that I was married. That would be impossible anyway, as my wedding had been attended by about thirty coworkers. It wasn’t a secret. I just didn’t see the need to bring reality crashing in as I talked with her.

“Yea, same here.” I said instead. “So good.”

We talked a bit more about the show, then shifted gears to what the new position would be. I was worried she might be a bit intimidated by the workload but she didn’t hesitate.

“I’d love to come over.” She said.

“That’s great!” I exclaimed. “I’d love to have ya. Training starts this Monday. Any issues?” I asked.

“No, just thank you. I’m really excited.” She said.

“Of course. By the way, do you have any of the Flight of the Conchords albums?” I asked, once again shifting the conversation away from work.

“No, I’ve been meaning to get them though. I love the songs from the show.” She said.

“They’re really good. I’ve got a couple of them. I’ll bring you copies.” I said.

“That’d be great!” She said, beaming.

“Cool, I’ll bring them next week.” We shook hands. She thanked me again for the opportunity and then left my desk.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuck.” I whispered to myself, watching her go.


“What ya doing?” My wife asked.

“Just burning some CDs for a coworker.” I said. “Flight of the Conchords.”

“Oh nice.” Debbie said. “Who’re they for?”

“One of the new guys on my team. He’s a big fan.” I said, swapping the pronoun. “Has a Conchords lanyard and everything.”

“Well that’s nice of you.” She said, hugging me from behind.

“What can I say? I’m a nice guy.” I said, smiling up at her.


Over the next two months I got to know Julie a lot better. I gave her the same schedule as me, so we had a lot of time where we were working together. I came to know her as a very nice, sweet girl. She was quiet, but had a great sense of humor and was well-liked by her peers. I had weekly meetings with each of my team members, but these would occasionally get moved or canceled depending on how busy we were. I never canceled hers.

During our first weekly meeting I learned the upsetting news that she had a boyfriend. This shouldn’t have upset me, being as I’m far from available myself, but it did. She told me this as she explained they were looking for a new apartment, but money was tight since he only worked part-time. It didn’t help that he only wanted to move places they couldn’t afford.

“He’s going to college for chemical engineering, so I told him if we get married he’ll have to support me for a change. Then I’ll be the one who doesn’t have to work.” She joked. Marriage? I tried my best to hide how unhappy those words made me.

“My wife is thinking of going to school for nursing.” I blurted, introducing my wife into the conversation and striking back in a game only I was playing.

Although we had mentioned our significant others, they rarely came up during our talks. Whereas with other employees I would talk mostly business in our meetings, Julie and I would spend almost all our time joking and discussing personal matters . It helped that she was a good employee, so I rarely ever had to talk to her about her performance.

We had a lot in common. We were both quiet introverts. We liked the same music and watched the same TV shows and movies. There were some more specific coincidences too. We both went to the same high school. We both had cats from before our current relationships, and both her boyfriend and my wife were allergic to them. We were both failed vegetarians. I took these as signs that we were meant for each other, rather than the coincidences they were.

We began introducing each other to new things. I told her about Rick and Morty, which she ended up loving, and she got me into Arrested Development. I loaned her several movies which she always quickly watched and returned. The biggest surprise for me was our similar taste in books. We were both huge fans of Neil Gaiman and Stephen King, and she ended up recommending several books to me that I ended up loving. So many people have shit taste in books, and the fact that she recommended ones to me I liked meant way more to me than it should.

During our meetings she would tell me her problems too. In addition to money issues she’d been struggling with a stomach illness since she was a kid. Her cat was having some health issues as well, and the vet bills were not making things easier. I would check in with her occasionally for updates on these things, and if she was ever having a bad day I’d send her funny or cute animated gifs to try to cheer her up. She had quite a few bad days.

Money was so tight she sometimes couldn’t afford lunch. Once I bought lunch for the whole team because I knew she was hungry and I didn’t want it to be obvious I was buying her food. On another occasion she joked that she wanted ice cream so I bought blizzards for the team.

“Aww, Joel. You didn’t have to do that.” She said sweetly beaming.

“You said you wanted ice cream.” I shrugged.

Later I would repeat the phrase “Aww, Joel” over and over again my head, picturing the cute way she said it, a smile sneaking up on me each time.

There was an undeniable sadness to Julie that made me want to help her and protect her. I wasn’t trying to be thoughtful or trying to get in her good graces by doing nice things. She was just all I thought about, so it all came natural. At night I’d go home to my wife, but I’d be thinking about Julie. I would fantasize about telling her how I felt and offering to take care of her so she didn’t need to stress about money anymore. When having sex with my wife I would picture myself instead deep inside Julie, and it’d be her name I’d mouth to myself as I’d cum.

I found her Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I didn’t add her on any of them, but I saved all the pictures I could see without being her friend. They weren’t sexy but adorable, and I loved them all (Even the ones with her boyfriend. I just cropped him out.).

From her Facebook I learned she was 21; eight years younger than me and four years younger than my wife. The same age my wife had been when I’d met her, and I’d gotten a lot of shit for how much younger Debbie was than me. Julie was definitely too young for me, but that didn’t matter. This was just a crush. She had her boyfriend and I had my wife. Nothing more would come of it.


A position opened up within my company and it was heavily hinted I should apply. It would be a promotion with a significant pay raise, but I found myself weighing the pros and cons of taking the job not on the merits of the position, but instead on how it would affect my “relationship” with Julie.

This helped to open my eyes to how obsessed I’d been. I knew Julie liked me as a person, but I was also her boss. She had to talk to me. Was she humoring me, or maybe sucking up to me because she thought it’d benefit her? Did she know how I felt about her, and if so did it creep her out? I tried to hide my favoritism, but what if some of the other employees had noticed my feelings? I had gotten in too deep. It wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t normal and it wasn’t fair to my wife or my employees. Taking the position would mean not seeing her as much and I wouldn’t have a reason to talk to her, but turning it down would hinder my career and keep me in the thankless role of seeing this girl every day that I had started convincing myself I was falling in love with. No good could come of continuing this way. I applied for the role.

After three interviews and a grueling week-long waiting period, I was told I got the promotion. I spent a week training my replacement Jennifer, then left my team and Julie to continue the next step in my career.


Not seeing Julie as much was a good thing. I was able to focus more on work without constantly wondering what she was up to or trying to message her. I saw her occasionally in the break room, and when I did I’d ask her about her cat or her health issues and we’d have a nice talk, but the conversations were always natural and brief. I stopped looking at her pictures at night or thinking about her during sex. Those behaviors were creepy. I was glad to leave them behind.

After four weeks in the position I was approached by my old boss asking for a favor. There was a conference in Seattle coming up and they needed some representation from my old team. Unfortunately Jennifer would be out of town that week, so he was hoping I could go in her place and bring a few of the team members with me. I jumped at the chance, my mind immediately turning to Julie.

I spoke with Jennifer and asked her who she’d like to send. She told me the names of a few people she definitely didn’t want to (which I wholeheartedly agreed with), but said otherwise she’d leave it up to me to decide.

I picked three employees: Julie, Cecilia and Gerald. Julie is very good at her job, and she should have been on the trip regardless of my feelings for her. Cecilia and Gerald are also good, but I picked them for very specific reasons. Cecilia is twenty years old, and therefore couldn’t drink. Gerald is thirty-two and Mormon. If we found ourselves out drinking, as I had on literally every business trip I’d ever taken, those two wouldn’t be sticking around.


As I laid in bed with my wife, she reiterated for the hundredth time how unhappy she was that I was going out of town. She always hated my business trips.

“How long are you going to be gone?” She asked.

“Just two nights.” I told her, again.

“I hate sleeping without you.” She pouted.

“I hate sleeping without you too.” I told her honestly. For the last nine years I’d been single for just a month. It felt weird sleeping alone.

“At least you’ll be having fun with your work friends. I’ll be stuck here alone.” She said.

“We’ll be too busy to have too much fun, and at least you won’t have to worry about my snoring.” I said. She had been complaining about the noise pretty much every morning for the last week. I felt bad, but there wasn’t much I could do about it.

“Yea, that’ll be nice at least. I just have a hard time sleeping when your gone.” She said, putting her hand on my stomach.

“I know what’d help you get to sleep.” I reached into the cabinet by the bed and pulled out the vibrator I’d gotten her last week.

“You know I only use those with you!” She said, slapping me playfully.

“Suuuuuure you do.” I said. I actually almost believed her. I’ve tried to get her to touch herself for me, but she has steadfastly refused. We’ve tried anal, sex toys, porn and role play, but I’ve never gotten to see her pleasure herself for me.

“You know, now that you’ve got it out…” She said, smiling coyly.

“Alright.” I said, with mock reluctance. I grabbed the lube from the cabinet and got both her and the dildo ready.

I made Debbie cum twice with the vibrator. Watching her orgasm is one of my favorite things. She has beautiful pale skin and beautiful breasts, and I just love watching her moaning face framed between her tits while I’m between her legs.

The sex was fine. I made her cum a third time, and her orgasm was very intense. When she was done I kept up my strokes for several minutes, but she was clearly spent. When she gets like that she stops enjoying sex and just lays there, patiently waiting for me to finish. Since she’s not an active participant, and she’s clearly not enjoying it, it takes the fun right out of it for me. Soon I crawled off her and started cleaning myself off.

“Not going to finish?” She asked me.

“Not tonight.” I told her, although my cock was still hard as a rock. It’s hard to get off when you know your partner would rather be doing anything else at that point. At least for me it is.

“Did you enjoy it at least?” She asked me.

“Of course.” I told her truthfully, throwing her the towel. I’d rather cum. It was a frustrating experience, as so many of our love-making sessions were, but she was beautiful and soft and was passionate until she wasn’t, and I still enjoyed myself. “Did you?”

“What do you think?” She asked, looking sweaty, satisfied and exhausted.


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