Breaking the Rules Pt. 12

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Ass

Breaking the Rules takes place in an RPG universe, and is the sequel to Bending the Rules. To understand the characters and how the world works, please start from Part 1 of either series. Not based on any particular gaming franchise or storyline, but there may be guest appearances.

So much for the happy ending. Or is it?

*****

They ran and ran, burning off adrenaline. Finally Akua slowed, stopped and fell to her knees, not letting go of his hand.

“Are you hurt?” Nuru said.

“My heart bleeds,” she sobbed. “Oh, poor Cayman… it’s all my fault…”

“It is a sad day indeed,” Nuru said. “For what it’s worth, that wasn’t your fault.”

“Wasn’t it though? He was there for me! I should have been there for him! Why couldn’t you have been faster!?”

“Let’s be honest, he was trapped. I think a single health potion would just have prolonged the inevitable. I hate to say it, I think this was the more merciful way.”

“…you’re right, I’m sorry… but if I hadn’t called him…”

“I called my friends. Without the other paladins there that came with him, they might have gotten hurt. Maybe several of them would have met their end in the traps, I don’t know. They’re not the heavy-armor types that could take a beating like that.”

“And then… then we both would have been trapped in there, with our misery,” she rationalized.

“Yes.”

“I was ready to die. They had to force me to eat, as you saw. But you… you are young. You have so much to live for.”

“Indeed I do. You’re not that old, either, you know.”

“It may be too late to live a good life. I have many years ahead, but I have no joy to share with a man.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.”

(Hey. You got anything for grief?) Nuru tugged at his succubus.

/Just the thing! Endorphins are wonderful for- wait. Who’s this?/

(Her name is Akua. Her paladin friend just died in front of her. We couldn’t save him.)

/Nevermind that. Where is she from?/

“Hey. Where are you from?”

“You… you want to see my home?”

“Sure!”

“Oh. Oh! That’s wonderful! Nobody ever wants to come home with me. Perhaps there is a silver lining after all!”

She pulled him forward with sudden strength and enthusiasm.

(Look at that! I didn’t even need your help.)

/Stop! Don’t do it!/

(What!? Weren’t you just saying-)

/Shut up and listen to me. Do. Not. Go. Home. With. Her./

(Why? It’s the perfect opportunity to-)

/Nuru! She’s a nymph!/

(Fuck yeah, even better!)

/Argh! All my hard work, wasted! Damn you, you filty mortals!/

(Wait… what? What are you talking about?)

/I’m telling you, don’t go home with her! You will never leave!/

Nuru stopped dead in his tracks, and Akua jerked back towards him, clutching into his chest with a strong hug.

“Come on! It’s not far actually, we can make it there in a few minutes,” she sang, pulling at him again.

“Hold on, wait wait wait,” Nuru said.

“What’s the matter?” she said, grabbing at him playfully.

“Tell me something. Are you a nymph?”

She blinked a few times.

“…yes?”

“Oh.”

“Why? You don’t seem like the hateful type.”

“No, no, it’s not that. It’s-“

He frowned.

(Shit. Help me out here. I thought nymphs were sexy forest women that live in pools and trees and stuff.)

/Yes, yes, it’s all true, that’s where the word ‘nymphomaniac’ comes from, somewhat mistakenly. Nymphs mate for life, much like mortal marriage. Under other circumstances I would have been happy to set you up with one, and feed on the EXP of you getting your brains fucked out every day of your life. But now I have too much at stake, and you’re right in the middle of it./

(There’s no escaping them?)

/Nymphs, for all their reputation, are monogamous. This lovely thing you see in front of you is a virgin. She will have sex with, at most, one man in her entire life. I mean, she’ll do it a lot of times, but only ever the one man. And she will guard him jealously, so that he can only do the same. It’s a deep-rooted psychological instinct; I’ve never been able to break it, nor have I heard of anyone else doing so. She would rather drown her man in her pool than let him walk back to a city where he might lay eyes on another woman, ever again. Trust me, those stories are true, and my magic will not save you. They are very powerful close to their home; the trees or the water will come alive to do their bidding./

(Sigh… I suppose I’d better ask, then. Just to be sure.)

“Let me ask you a question,” Nuru said. “If I come home with you, what happens?”

“Then I will accept you as my mate, and love you forever and ever!”

“That wasn’t the reason I was coming with you.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ll bring you around. You’ll see! We’re great at pleasing our man! You are a passionate lover, I can see it in your eyes; a girl could do far worse!”

“But… I have friends. I like them. I want to keep seeing them.”

“So? Invite them over. They can visit, I’ll just keep an eye on them. It’ll yalvaç escort be fine.”

“But can *I* ever go to visit *them*?”

She glared at him suspiciously. “Why would you ever want to do that? My home has everything you could ever want. Food! Fun! Me! I know you like the thought of me, without clothes! You can stare at me all you want, I don’t mind. I bet I like it!”

“No- no, no, no. I’m sorry, this isn’t going to work,” Nuru said.

“Come on, just give me a chance! Look, you like blowjobs don’t you? Let me give you a blowjob! I’ve never given one before, but I’m really excited to try!”

Nuru groaned as she sank to her knees and started grabbing at his codpiece under the loincloth, trying to get it off.

(Gods damn it all. What do I do?)

/Walk away. Just walk away, Nuru./

“Come on, why didn’t you do that with Cayman?”

“He was married already! He was off limits.”

“Oh. You know I’m not a virgin, right?”

“You just never met the right woman. Here I am! You’ll never need anyone else again!”

(But she’s hurting. Isn’t there some way I can help her?)

/You’ve done what you can. The sooner she accepts that she needs to find someone else, the sooner she can move on and find that happiness. And no, do not let her have any kind of sex with you. She will imprint on you and will follow you everywhere, interfering with your relationships with any other women you meet, try to kidnap you and take you home. Walk away. Or run, preferably./

Nuru shoved her hands away.

“Awww, come on! All men loves blowjobs, everyone says so!”

“Sorry, I can’t let you do that,” he said, slapping at her arms more and more roughly as he backed away.

“Rrrrraaaaaaugggh! I hate you! Curse you, and all you stupid humans!”

Akua got up and ran away, sobbing.

/Now move your ass the other direction. I mean it!/

Nuru started walking, listening as she bawled and shrieked and cursed. He met up with Dayo coming through the trees.

“Hey. Everything alright?” Dayo said.

“Not exactly. Aw, crap, here she comes. Please, for the love of the gods, keep her away from me.”

“What!?” Dayo got out before a tear-streaked Akua threw herself at Nuru at full speed.

“Don’t leave me! I’m all alone!” she wailed.

“Hey now, leave the nice man alone, he’s had a hard day,” Dayo said soothingly, trapping her with strong arms.

“No! You don’t understand! He’s my husband! Mine! All mine!”

“Did he give you a ring?” Dayo said kindly.

“W-what?”

“That’s what we do, when we get married. We give rings when we make promises to be with someone forever. If there’s no ring, they don’t mean it to be forever,” Dayo continued.

‘If even then,’ they mouthed at Nuru silently.

“B-but he likes me. He wanted to come home…”

“Oh, gods, you’re a nymph? I mean, uh, no offense. I’ve always liked you forest ladies, and your initiative,” Dayo added.

“A naiad,” Akua said sadly. “A poor, forlorn, naiad with an empty pool.”

“Well, go chat the men up at the bar. Go dancing. Find a man who likes baths and will give you a ring, and then take him home. It’ll all work out, you’ll see, you just need a little patience,” Dayo said cheerfully.

“You really think so?”

Her eyes strayed to Nuru, and hardened, but turned to look at Dayo as they grabbed her face.

“Yes, sweetie. I know so. You’re a lovely young woman, and any man would be lucky to have a wife like you.”

“O-ok.”

Dayo spun Akua around as she collapsed into a thoughtful heap on the ground.

‘Go!’ the valkyrie mouthed at him. ‘Don’t wait for me!’

‘!Kafa Mara Nauyi!’ Nuru whispered.

Nuru bowed in thanks, and then he ran like the wind.

/Thank the gods./

*****

Nuru slowed, getting his bearings, after the third time Weightless Foot entered cooldown.

“Well. Now what do I do?” he panted.

Growl.

Nuru whirled, seeing Tusa approaching, who turned his head oddly. Ace appeared there, patting the lyena’s head in a friendly manner.

“Now you get back to safer pastures,” the thief said.

“Oh, thank D’Shemil. I thought I was a goner there, so many times. Dayo’s still back that way somewhere.”

“Don’t worry, they know the way back, I’m sure,” Ace said. “Tusa, you want to scout ahead?”

Grunt.

“Uh…!Fassada Girma!” Nuru said.

“I’m gonna have to learn that one of these days,” Ace said. “What’s he saying?”

Grunt.

[Absolutely not.]

“Why not?” Nuru said.

Grunts and snarls.

[I failed you once. I will not leave your side.]

“Just keep naiads from getting too close and I’ll call it even,” Nuru said. “They had poison darts, it’s not your fault.”

[I should have seen them, and gotten away.]

“I agree, it’s not your fault. There were a lot of them. They’ve got pretty high proficiency on all their moves, as far as I can tell,” Ace said.

[Still, I refuse.]

“Have it your way,” Nuru said. “I do feel better with you here. Thank you.”

“Dang. So, Legba’s got it in for you now, has yenibosna escort he?” Ace said.

“I guess you could say that. I don’t know what the hell is happening out there, but some factions want nothing to do with me, and now it seems some factions will do just about anything to get me to join. Including, in this case, using force,” Nuru said.

Ace whistled. “That is definitely a campfire-worthy story. I hope you don’t mind telling it. It’s the weekend tomorrow, you know. We’re having a cookout on the beach, I think.”

“And you don’t even know the half of it,” Nuru grumbled.

“Hey, look on the bright side. You’ve still got your drum, and your life,” Ace said.

“I wish Mesi could be there,” Nuru said sadly.

“Me too,” Ace said. “Alternatively, you could get off your ass and get that prohibition removed, and we could all meet at her place.”

Nuru groaned. “Yeah…. that’s probably more realistic. So many objectives. So little time.”

“Although, I have to admit, she’s never going to meet Ekene. Home Town has no shores.” Ace frowned.

“Oh, yeah. That is a shame.”

“Well, Ekene can’t speak our language, and Mesi probably wouldn’t learn hers just to have a conversation with an exotic species, so I guess it’s alright.”

“You could translate.”

“Well, sure. But that kind of puts the brakes on the organic development of friendship in any meaningful sense. I mean, that pretend fight Furaha and Dayo did to you when they first met – they could never have arranged that if you had to convey the messages between them.”

“I wonder if that’s what Sanaa and Furaha don’t want to tell me.”

“You think they’re going to prank you when she gets summoned here?”

“…no. It’s got to be business. They’re all far too invested into the whole thing.”

“I’m kind of sad, but at the same time, kind of not, knowing the kind of prank a succubus would arrange.”

“Hah. I know what you mean. Hey, Tusa, since you’re here I want to ask you something.”

Mrrph.

[Speak.]

“I want to talk to your father. Think you could ask him to come see me?”

[He is busy. But I will ask. He will have time eventually.]

“Well, uh, I’d really like to in the next couple of days. There’s someone that wants his help.”

[Who?]

“Well, a ranger, but it’s on behalf of a child at Home Town.”

[My father has been around long enough to prove himself approachable. This is much work to accomplish a simple task.]

“I think that’s been tried. The ranger wants to speak on his behalf.”

Tusa’s hackles raised.

[You speak of the goblin-kin. The demi-orcling.]

“Yes.”

[And the ranger- Gram!] Tusa roared. [You wished to conceal this from me!]

“Look, I-“

[Absolutely not! I’ve saved your life, and this is the thanks I get! I knew humans were treacherous, but I did not expect this from you!]

“Shit. Tusa I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

[Were you going to tell my father who he would be meeting!?]

“Of course! I just didn’t want to upset you-“

[Then, well done!]

Tusa stalked angrily off into the trees.

“-and have you not deliver the message… sigh. This day just gets better and better,” Nuru muttered, rubbing his face with his hands.

Ace had gone quiet and invisible again. The walk home lost most of its joy.

*****

“Nuru!”

He looked up just in time for Furaha to slam face-first into his chest and hug him tight. “I was so worried!”

“I was too, to be honest.”

“But you made it. Why are you sad?”

“I’ve upset Tusa. And I was hoping to be able to help this kid in Home Town, but now it’s going to be harder to reach Jaheem about it, and harder to convince him probably.”

“Tell me everything.”

“Should I wait for Dayo?”

“No. I can’t wait, there will be more time to explain everything over the campfire. I want to hear all about it.”

Nuru started with his argument with Tusa, then went back to when he’d left to meet with Chibale, and got as far as the pygmy trolls trading him when Dayo arrived.

“And I could barely move to pull out my loincloth because of the poison, but I had to because- Oof!” Nuru was saying.

“You scared the crap out of me,” Dayo said, Shadow Walking from the doorway and giving him a hug to make his ribs creak.

“You’re lucky I’m not hurt, for you to make it worse,” Nuru croaked.

“So are you,” Dayo said. “I’m sure I heard a gauntlet of traps going in there.”

“Yeah, my… fellow prisoner had some help show up to get us through.”

“The paladins,” Dayo sighed. “I guess they’re good for something every now and then.”

“Turned out I even knew this one. You remember I told you about Katlego tricking me after I’d just gotten this ring?”

“Took you right out by the road,” Furaha said, nodding.

“So that bunch of paladins that saw us – Cayman was one of them. Might be the whole bunch were the same group. They had different armor, I’m not certain, but it could have been.”

“But, so, how did they get you, anyway?” Dayo said. “Wasn’t Chibale yenimahalle escort looking out for you?”

“I guess he got held up a bit.”

Nuru explained the ghoul tipping again briefly, then jumped forward to the multiple attempts to escape that he’d made.

“Wow, you got so close,” Furaha said. “What happened to your friend?”

“Not a friend, sadly,” Nuru said.

“She was an unpaired nymph. Gods only know what the Goof Troupe wanted with her,” Dayo said.

“It makes sense, actually,” Furaha said. “The picture I’m getting is that there’s some kind of incentive between the factions to win you over. My guess is they’ve tried the punitive measures, and if those aren’t working, they’re trying the reward approach too. Like a quest given to each faction as a whole, to get you on board with somebody. I don’t know if the gods themselves have all come to agreement on this, but some factions are finding it worth pursuing, and others aren’t.”

“Because of course they couldn’t all just agree on anything, ever,” Dayo rolled their eyes.

Furaha continued, “They wanted to break you of your philandering ways, and if they failed to induct you, they could foist you off on a woodland spirit to lock you away so that none of the other factions got you either, in any useful sense, without going to all the trouble to kill her and lose a lot of people in the process. Nymphs have a ridiculous reputation as wanton harlots, but on their own territory they’re fearsome opponents. It’s just the sort of trickery I’ve come to expect from Troupers. I’m guessing they knew you’d fall for her and even if you didn’t go home with her you’d have imprinted and she’d eventually drag you away.”

“That’s remarkably well thought out,” Nuru said. “I wouldn’t have expected it from those childish bullies.”

“Chances are, they were just the grunts. Someone higher up made the plan,” Furaha said.

“A *serious* clown,” Nuru smirked.

Furaha cracked up. “Don’t you dare say that to their faces!”

“You can’t appreciate that look on their faces under all the paint, anyway,” Dayo added.

“True. Hey, look at you being all social and everything!” Nuru said.

“Aw, now you’re embarrassing me,” Dayo said, tucking their face behind Nuru.

“Dayo, has anyone ever told you you’re adorable?” Furaha said with a wide smile.

“No…”

“A bashful valkyrie, it’s just too cute for words,” Furaha added.

“Hey fuck you lady, I’m ferocious,” Dayo said, showing their middle finger instead of their face.

“And that makes it even better,” Nuru said, chuckling silently but he knew Dayo could feel his chest shaking.

“What, you too!? It’s a conspiracy!” Dayo said, pulling back and tilting their head down, but not enough that their hat could hide the pouting.

“That’s us saying we love you,” Nuru said.

“You guys…” Dayo shed a couple tears before catching them at the corners of their eyes.

“Tell Mesi, ‘We’re sorry, and you’re welcome’,” Furaha added.

“What…?” Nuru said.

“Mesi’s gonna get it rough, so Dayo can restore that tough-person self image,” Furaha said, winking.

“Oh. Heh.”

“Hey! Have you been telling people about…?” Dayo glared at Nuru.

“No! I swear on my life, I haven’t!” Nuru said.

“Dayo, all I had to do was meet her one time to know exactly what kind of dynamic she would be interested in,” Furaha said. “I didn’t know she was attracted to women at first, but she is a brat through and through. She needs someone that can keep her in line. You’re strong enough to fill that role.”

“You met her!?” Dayo said. “Gods, are you stalking every aspect of my life?”

“Dayo. She works at the inn. I like a nice meal now and then,” Furaha deadpanned.

“…oh. Right,” Dayo grinned sheepishly. “She does give Baako a merry hell regularly.”

“I think that’s the real charm of the place. Good food, good entertainment. Speaking of which, who’s up for a celebration this weekend!?” Furaha said.

“I’m in!” Nuru said.

“Fuck. Yes.” Dayo said.

“We’ll have to do it on the cheap. But I’ve still got a surprise for everyone,” Furaha said.

Dayo and Nuru looked at each other, puzzled.

“It’s a-” Ace started, but Furaha was ready for him, and hit him with a book.

“Don’t you fucking dare steal my thunder!” she fumed.

Ace darted out the door laughing, followed by several more books.

“Thieves!” Furaha spat. “Cheats and joykillers, to the last!”

“That’s what I’ve been saying,” Dayo joined in, staring at Nuru as if to dare him to speak up in the man’s defense.

“Alright, I’ll give you this one,” Nuru grinned.

*****

The next day passed in a flurry of preparations and travel. Having agreed that it was too dangerous to stay at Quartz Port, the group made plans to have their celebration at a beach near a small fishing village up the coast, where the most exciting thing that ever happened was childbirth or a death, either age-related or due to a fishing accident. Ace’s mount, a sleek and nimble courier’s horse, was pulling a small cart they’d collectively rented.

“How small is this place?” Dayo said, back in the loose robes and witch hat that covered their skin.

“There’s not even a library,” Furaha said, wrapped in a decorative shawl and flowing sun dress.

“Oof. Is that going to bother you?” Dayo said.

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