Fist to the Heart Ch. 06

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Chapter Six — For You, Always Johnny

His entire body was thrumming with delight. They were spooning, laying on one side and Johnny was moving in and out of his ass while nuzzling his neck slowly. Ruslan could barely believe it. First thing in the morning and they were like this. Johnny had great stamina and bottomless desire, as it seemed.

Ruslan could get used to this. Hell, he could get addicted to this. To this man, if he truly wanted to be precise. He moaned softly as that was the only way to signal his bed partner that he was very much awake and very much enjoying the ministrations.

The weirdest thing of all if he was to think about was that the passion, the usual craving consuming him, seemed subdued, almost no longer there. It had just turned into satisfying languor, and everything felt softer, gentler now.

He bucked his hips only slightly.

“Want me to pick up the pace?” Johnny asked, his voice a bit hoarse from sleeping. “Want a fresh load fed to you, pretty? Your ass is so hungry. Damn, so hungry for my cock,” he whispered, making Ruslan tremble with desire.

So long, satisfying languor. He was waking up, and his body was already there, all his senses ready to be taken by this man who knew precisely the buttons to push to make Ruslan come undone.

“Yes, please,” he whispered back.

Johnny said nothing but wrapped one strong arm over Ruslan’s waist as the other dug into the plump flesh. Ruslan loved having his ass squeezed like that. Johnny intended to keep him in place.

Internally, he rejoiced. Was he finally going to feel how it was to be taken hard by this man?

“You know, it wouldn’t sit well with your bad boy attitude if you only made sweet and gentle love to me,” he snickered as Johnny continued fucking him slowly.

“Bad boy, huh? Funny, I thought I’d earned my place to be called a man.”

“Hmm, yeah, but ‘bad man’ doesn’t exactly sound right,” Ruslan joked.

He was effortlessly turned on his belly, and this time, his bed partner seemed to get the cue. When Johnny pushed himself, all length and growing girth inside him, Ruslan gasped. The only lubrication he still had there was from the last times Johnny had come in his ass the previous night. He had come plenty. So Ruslan’s ass was well enough lubricated for this.

“Oh, fuck,” he murmured.

“You know, you might not like it,” Johnny said. “I don’t think you can come, just rubbing your dick against the bed.”

“Let that be my worry, bad boy,” Ruslan said over one shoulder.

Johnny pressed Ruslan’s head down, into the pillows, firm, but not rough. Ruslan could feel the familiar excitement growing. It was not like him to come forward and admit it, at least not so plainly, not as honest as his body, how much he craved being used.

The bed was rattling now, but the short, sharp noises he made could almost cover that. Or they just created the effect of an orchestra, or better yet, a rough tune that sounded lewd and wanting. He had never had the guts to let himself broken, truly broken. It was something akin to a perversion, always to tread on edge, but with no express wish to walk over the line.

His ass was feeling it. Hell, he would feel this for days, especially since he was so sensitive. Even that idle thought was giving him satisfaction. Careless of his wellbeing, he pushed his ass up and back into Johnny’s thrusting hips.

“You like this?” Johnny’s voice was strained and touched by an ounce of doubt. “Want me to fuck you like a used street whore?”

Ruslan tensed. His throat tightened. It was almost like he couldn’t breathe.

It’s all in your head, it’s all in your head … The mantra kept repeating. But no matter what his mind was fighting to achieve, his automatic nervous system denied.

His body jerked uncontrollably. A strength he didn’t possess pushed him up and almost sent Johnny flying out of bed.

“What the fuck?” Johnny exclaimed.

He was shaking now, the effect of the adrenaline release. Johnny grabbed him.

“Fuck, are you okay, man?”

He could hear the other’s words as if his head was under water. Johnny turned his head and looked him in the eyes. And then, strong hands wrapped him in a tight embrace and kept him there, kept him warm, until the last tremble subsided.

It took him minutes to feel Johnny’s rough fingers drawing slow circles on his shoulder blades. He could not remember a bed partner comforting him before. This was also new.

“Should I go get something?” Johnny asked. “Do you need the hospital?”

“No, don’t worry.” Ruslan fought to regain his composure while straightening up and slipping from the assuring embrace. “I just get this crazy … My blood sugar drops.”

“Sugar?” Johnny stared at him, shaking his head slightly as if an annoying winged bug was trying to get inside his ear. “Okay. Shouldn’t you have medicine for this stuff?”

Ruslan wanted nothing but to run away from the inquisitive eyes. He stood his ground. “I’m fine,” he said, forcing himself to smile.

Johnny’s bursa escort reciprocating smile was a tad crooked. He wasn’t buying it, but it wasn’t his business.


The pretty man had had quite the scare, Johnny watched Ruslan, as still slightly trembling fingers were grabbing the blanket which he had hurried to drape over his shoulders. But what could have scared him?

Ruslan had riled him up a little. Of course, that wasn’t exactly a reason for him to take the bait. Ruslan could run his mouth all he wanted; he wasn’t into rough play. Not even rough acting. A few words were enough to set him off like that.

Okay, so no one ever had dared to call the pretty man a used whore. Johnny was stupid to have used those words. That was what he was: stupid. Prissy princes were not particular about being called names. They liked the danger, being treated roughly a little, but that was all. Some had asked him in the past, point blank, to call them names. But the boot he had gotten the next day was telling him everything he needed to know about that.

Princes could not be treated like whores. Not even when they asked for it. No matter what they said. No matter how much they thought that they wanted that. And, case in hand, Ruslan hadn’t asked for this fucked up shit.

Yeah, he should have known better. Johnny rubbed his forehead. “Do you want me to get the hell out?” He pointed with one thumb over his shoulder, to the door, hand curled into a tight fist.

The blue eyes stared at him as if Ruslan didn’t get the question. “Do you want to leave?” the pretty man’s voice croaked.

Damn, did he? Not really. Ruslan didn’t look well, his pale face even paler, his skin flushed in places. No, he didn’t.

He shook his head. “No.”

“Okay,” Ruslan mumbled. “Sorry about that. Really, you shouldn’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

“Is it because what I said?” Johnny asked bluntly.

He wasn’t one to beat around the bush.

The blue eyes widened. “No,” Ruslan answered quickly, looking away.

Yeah, he was stupid, Johnny concluded. He shouldn’t have let his true colors show. That wasn’t the kind of talk a pretty guy like this one could take. It was all about how he grew up or something. With a silver spoon in his mouth and all that. Yeah, no one talked like that to guys like Ruslan Kent.

Now he felt like he needed to take a hike. But that meant running. And Johnny didn’t do running. Not anymore.

“I’m sorry, okay? Just got carried away, you know?” Johnny said gruffly, looking at his hands, covered in fading scars and new scabs from training too hard. “Didn’t mean anything by that. You’re nothing like that.”

“Stop,” the sharp word shut him up.

“Then I should get going,” he replied.

“I told you I’m fine,” Ruslan said again. “Can’t you get it through your thick head?”

Johnny frowned. All right, so he had fucked up royally. But that didn’t mean Ruslan could call him stupid. That was all on him and no one else.

“Watch it.” He snarled as he pushed himself up. “I’m in no mood for your hissy fits. But here’s my advice, pretty. Next time when you’re with a man, and you want something, you better tell him straight up what you want. The likes of me can’t guess what goes through the pretty heads of the likes of you.”

He had wanted to apologize, and now he was just making it worse. Great. Well, it wasn’t supposed to last, anyway.

“Ah, so you figured me out? Is that what you’re trying to say?” Ruslan stood up, too, letting the blanket fall from his shoulders.

“Nah, I’m not all sophisticated like you. But thanks for the night and the tight ass. It was cool.”

Ruslan’s fingers dug into his arm, and, although he didn’t have enough strength to keep him in place, Johnny stopped. The blue eyes showed hurt. Johnny sucked at saying sorry. So there was nothing he could do about those pretty eyes and whatever was they were telling him.

He watched Ruslan moving his lips, giving him the address so he could call himself a cab.


Ruslan listened to the entrance door closing. It was better this way. Johnny had nothing to apologize for. Not that he could explain it, especially not to a stranger; not to anyone, if he was to think about it.

He was starting to feel a little better. Drawing himself a bath was the right thing to do. Then, he would just rest. There was no point to overthink things. Johnny was out the door, and out of his life, most probably. So what? It wasn’t like they knew each other since forever. And it was just what it was. Like Johnny had said. Cool.

He shivered and mostly pulled himself toward the bathroom. Nothing like a hot bath to put things in order, at least for the moment.

Hours later, his phone ringing woke him up from his slumber. “Hey,” he answered, rubbing his eyes.

“Sleeping so late, Russy? You’re young, but these bad habits will get the better of you,” the old man’s paternal voice came through.

“I just had … an interesting bursa escort bayan night,” Ruslan replied.

He stretched and yawned. The pain in his backside, a bit remote, but not quite fading, stopped him. Nothing a couple of Tylenols couldn’t solve. Johnny had been much gentler than Ruslan could have ever expected. And even that first time, he had taken his time, making sure his bed partner felt everything, except for pain.

It was all his body’s fault he felt like that. He never let go. Not completely. Maybe he was lying to himself that resisting a little made it all right, even with the risk of hurting afterward and not only physically.

He had messed up this time. But he couldn’t keep Johnny if he wanted. Did he want Johnny? By how well they had fit together the previous night, they were much compatible. Ruslan could hardly remember feeling so thoroughly satisfied. Except for Yanis.

Well, he still had Yanis. To think that he had refused his friend over Snake. But, to his defense, at that point, that had felt like the right thing to do.

“Russy.” The old man’s warm voice brought him back to reality. “Should I come over?”

“Papa, don’t treat me like I’m an invalid,” he protested right away.

“I know who you spent your night with. And I also know he left the premises several hours ago. You know I won’t intrude. Let me take you someplace nice. You seem down. Have you been –“

“All right,” Ruslan said a bit too brightly.

The old man didn’t need to know everything, all the time. His care was a bit overbearing. Maybe it was because the old man had no children of his own. Seeing how much he showered Ruslan with his attention was making him wonder why he had never had kids. Had he ever been married? He realized he knew little about Douglas Kent.

“Have you ever thought about adopting? You know, before me.” He pushed two pills at the back of his throat and swallowed them quickly with a mouthful of water.

“Adopting?” Douglas’s voice was a bit surprised.

“Yeah, you know, kids. I bet that splitting your affection between multiple charges would have made things easier for all of them,” he joked.

“Do you think I’m suffocating you, Russy?” the old man said with tenderness.

Ruslan laughed. “I’m not really complaining. But you do like to treat me like I’m twelve. Why not take a twelve-year-old under your wing? Or more? Two or three maybe?”

“I could not care enough for one,” Douglas said wistfully.

Ruslan stopped. Ah, so there was some painful history there. He wouldn’t pry. If the old man thought him worthy of sharing such delicate family business with him, he would let him know.

“Sometimes I don’t like it that you’re all alone in that big house,” he said.

Douglas chuckled. “I should say the same thing. And why do you say I’m all alone? I have Martin.”

“Who is your butler or something. Employees don’t count,” Russy replied. “And you gave me this house so that I could be independent and all.”

“Yes, and I’m afraid I was too hasty in doing so,” Douglas said with mirth. “And Martin is not a simple employee. He is a friend.”

“Yeah, I sort of noticed,” Ruslan joked, feeling a little up to mischief. “But most people don’t let their friends have the door when someone’s ringing the bell.”

The old man always let him get away with most things, and Ruslan liked to test boundaries once in a while. Not because he wanted to be rude. But he wanted to know more about the person who was still an enigma to him, and that was the only way he could afford doing that.

For some reason, he was afraid to ask straight questions. Or maybe he feared the answers.

“Martin doesn’t mind,” Douglas replied. “He tells me that having nothing to do all day would drive him slightly mad. Plus, if he were to do nothing, we would have to hire another butler. And three would be a crowd.”

Ruslan sat comfortably, fluffing the pillow. “You two behave like you’ve been married for fifty years, I swear. Wait, do you two … Nah, impossible.” He shook his head.

“I have no idea what your childish reasoning is trying to tell me here,” the old man said in a tone Ruslan knew too well that it meant that his papa was willing to indulge him.

“Well, you know. You two act like you’re more than just employer and employee. Seriously, if one didn’t know, they’d say you two are lovers or something. Damn, I just imagined you and Martin having sex. I think I need to cleanse that with a bunch of raunchy porn.”

Douglas laughed at the other end. “I must say that I’m a tad offended, Russy. Do you think old people don’t have sex? Or that we’ve never been young? Or is it simply imagining our old wrinkled bodies engaged in intercourse that puts you off?”

Ruslan giggled. “No, that’s not it. I hope I get to look as good as you when I grow old. Seriously, papa, I saw you two guys sparring. Are you two planning to compete for the hottest granddads of the century? None of you shows his real age. bursa escort kız But I do imagine sex between you and Martin being awfully polite. You would even address each other properly. Something like … May I put it inside, sir? I should have ordered the premium lubricant, not this thing that only commoners would use. By all means, Martin, you should have placed that order. Do you think that we should postpone the intercourse, sir? Seeing that the conditions are not met, I do think so, Martin. How about next week? Next week would be perfect, sir. Should I write the date down? Certainly. And please don’t forget the premium lubricant next time.”

Douglas laughed wholeheartedly. “That is why I only want to have you as my protégé, Russy. You always make me laugh. But, just as a curiosity. What makes you think Martin would be the active participant and not the other way around?”

Ruslan shrugged. “I don’t know. You seem the kind to be serviced. Martin is ready to do anything for you. Except for putting out, though. He almost always looks like he has just swallowed a broomstick. That said, he seems too stiff to be a bottom. With all his eagerness to please, you would still not be able to tap that ass.”

Douglas laughed again. “I will let him know you said that.”

“Ah, don’t you dare!” Ruslan protested. “He’ll slip some arsenic into my tea, I’m sure!”

“Martin loves you to death, Russy,” Douglas said.

“Yeah, exactly,” Ruslan said while grinning. “But, seriously, are you two … you know, humping each other? I won’t judge if you are.”

“That, my boy, is a silly question.”

Of course it was silly. What was he thinking? Sometimes, he couldn’t understand how the old man was letting him get away with everything like that.

“So, where do you plan to take me out?” he asked, feeling giddy like a kid.

His papa liked to surprise him. And it was quite a strange thing, but seeing him so happy for making him happy was just … making him feel whole. They both craved something they hadn’t gotten in their lives until they had met each other.

Ruslan knew why he hadn’t. He had been just an orphan for as long as he could remember, with just one friend to rely on at that time. Yanis was one hell of a friend, but otherwise, he was all alone in the world. The old man behaved as he had never truly been able to make someone happy in his life. And seeing how long Douglas had lived, that said something.

Yes, he had Martin. But they were employer and employee after all. His family was a joke. Ruslan hadn’t heard one mention of a wife. And everyone around him was only waiting for Douglas Kent to die so that they could pounce on his fortune like a pack of hyenas.

Not a too cheerful perspective. And if for some reason, Douglas enjoyed treating Ruslan like his own kid, it was all that mattered.

He smiled as Douglas began talking excitedly, in his usual, subdued, dignified way, of course, about the new club where he wanted to take Ruslan. The Tylenols were starting to work. He would be all peachy for the evening out.


Johnny almost sent the speed bag flying off his hinges, as he rained his frustration over it. How the hell could he be so damn stupid? He had the chance to score, more than just once, with a guy who was everything he wanted in his life.

Hell, he was stupid. He put all his power behind the last punch and then headed for the exit. Since when he was star struck like some teenager? He had fucked the pretty man. That was enough. Should have been.

But he felt something like an itch he couldn’t scratch. It was as if he could not find a place to sit or stay. Like his mind couldn’t think of anything else but Ruslan Kent. Why the fuck was he worked up like that?

A hole was a hole. A body was a body. A mouth was a mouth. But, fuck, if he could take those damn blue eyes out of his head. He knew why, somewhat. Guys like Ruslan Kent were everything he wasn’t and so damned out of touch. But damn, if he was one to settle for what the entire world told him he deserved. He had made a way for himself, as little as it was, with his two fists. And, for what it was, for what he was doing, it was still more honest that whatever the rich men of the world did to build their big ass fortunes.

He needed himself straightened up and fast. He had something to do. First Monday of the month. For as long as he could. Only for that, it didn’t matter what he could do. It wasn’t up to him. But he wasn’t one to keep a grudge with the Big Guy. Not that he was a believer or anything like that. For all the things he had no control over, there were others. Karma and shit. Most probably. Who the fuck knew?


“How’s she?” he asked gruffly, as he signed into the guest book.

The nurse pursed her wrinkled lips. “There are no changes. She’s in and out of it, like usual.”

Johnny just nodded and headed down the hallway. It felt like his shadow was taking something of the cleanliness of the place. His heavy steps broke the revered silence. Well, it was not like he wanted to be there. It was his duty.

He stopped in the door. She looked so peaceful, as she looked out the window. Her grey hair was pinned at the back with an ebonite clasp. At least, they were taking good care of her here. Washed her, dressed her, combed her hair, gave her food.

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