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The Choice. (The best and worst year of my life.)
The truth is finally out. Kim and Monica have both told Brandon that they were the women under the mask over the course of these many weeks. Brandon didn’t take it well. Kim, he did because he has always had a little thing for her, but when he realized that Monica was under the other mask he panicked and really, who wouldn’t? This in the world of these three young lovers were about to be turned upside down.
For a long time I sat outside and went over it all again in my head. When Kim pulled her mask off part of me was the happiest I had ever been. Kim was smart, beautiful, sexy and in her own way was just as damaged as I was. She was a woman that I could find peace with and we could fix each other. Love, felt for a brief moment like a reality when she pulled that mask off and smiled at me.
And then my whole world collapsed. The Deviless from the party. The Deviless who had taken me so sweetly into her mouth. The one of the two who I had truly felt love toward, the one I had agreed to give myself and control took took off her mask and it was Monica. When I looked at her at that moment I felt a overwhelming need to both run to her, to safety and yet recoil from her. At that moment I didn’t understand what she already knew. That true love is blind, that it doesn’t matter what the world thinks of you, as long as you have each other.
All I could think was that Tom was right. I had somehow done this to Monica. I had somehow degraded her morality and corrupted her. I had tarnished my beautiful sister and I couldn’t stay here anymore. I couldn’t stay and continue to do these terrible things to her. But, as I watched the grief and pain show in her eyes my heart cried out her name and I pulled her to me. I couldn’t let her think I didn’t want her, that a part of me didn’t love her so I kissed her like the lover she knew she was and somewhere inside I desperately wanted her to be. Then I left.
Confused. Hurt and more then a little hysterical. I called the one person I thought I could go for comfort. Little did I realize that doing this would only be the beginning of my nightmare. I drove around for awhile before I found myself sitting in the car out in front of the house of the red haired woman whom I had so recently broken up. What were you doing here Brandon, I asked myself.
I didn’t even get out of the car before the door of that ranch style house opened and Stella came out. After the last twenty-four hours I had forgotten how breath taking she was. Red hair curled into ringlets, lips so full it was like they were tiny pillows made just to rest my cock on. She had on a white T-Shirt that seemed to bulge over A full curve of breasts that I realized now were bigger then both Monica and Kim. A white skirt covered her lower body and even from this angle I could see the wide curve of a large and bouncing ass. Bigger and not nearly as tight as Kim’s or as well shaped as Monica’s. Even through the closed windows I could hear the click of her white high heels.
Even with the window rolled down I could see her lips moving as she walked toward me. So, I kicked the door open and her voice assaulted me. “….And you have the nerve to call me out of the blue and just expect me to forgive it all?”
“Stella.” I began but she lifted a hand and I knew she wasn’t done.
“For all you knew I was with another man.” Stella said in a little snarl. “And who was that bitch? To tell me you deserve better then me? Were you cheating on me?”
When she called Kim a bitch my eyes flashed dangerously and I felt a sudden rage beginning to build. “When were you planning on telling me that our whole relationship was built on a lie?”
“What are you talking about?” She demanded, but I could see the faintest hint of unease around her beautiful face.
“Halloween.” And then it all came flooding out. Monica. Kim. All of the times the Deviless had made me feel special and needed and Stella using that to her advantage. “When were you going to tell me that it wasn’t you in the costume?”
“What are you talking about?” Stella demanded, but she was quickly losing her edge. “Listen baby. I will forget about that phone call and the possibility that you have been with another woman….just come inside. I want to show you how wet I am at the mere sight of you. Come inside so I can show you what you do to me, that I am yours baby.”
I blinked and actually fell back into the door of my camaro. I could hear the voice clear as day. Soft through the mask, filled with not lust like Stella’s now but with concern, passion and unmistakable longing. Brandon….when you learn the truth…remember this moment. I am soaking wet just touching you. You did this to me, and I wanted it to happen. Know my Brandon, I am yours.
“Is something wrong baby? Don’t you want me to show you that I am yours?” Stella asked me.
“……” I could hear Monica’s voice in my ears now. All izmir escort of the times she said things with the security blanket of the mask. That she told me she loved me. That she needed me. “….No.”
“I am going to take you inside and make you forget all about that other wo….” Stella continued like she hadn’t heard me and then looked up suddenly. “Wait, what do you mean no?”
“I mean no.” I said a bit firmer and pulled open the drivers door again. “This was a mistake.”
Before I could get into the car she shoved the door closed with a slam. I had never seen Stella mad before and boy, I am glad I hadn’t. “The mistake was thinking you were ever worthy of me.” She fumed.
“….Thanks for making this easier Stella.” I mused and pulled the door open again.
“You know what you are Brandon?” Stella screamed as I slid into the car. “Your damaged beyond repair. You will never, ever deserve a woman as good as me! And I was cheating on you!”
And then I turned and watched the most beautiful woman I had ever seen walk out of my life forever. I fired the Camaro up and drove off. I didn’t even know where I was going or why I was going there until I was parked and staring at the building. So there I sat, outside the Holiday Inn on the outskirts of town. My mind was a blank haze. I was lost in the events of the last few months. The good and the bad.
I barely heard the creak of the car door. The sound of my boots on the concrete fell on deaf ears. I don’t remember climbing the stairs or knocking on the door. When the door slowly opened I didn’t even wait to see who was inside the room before I blurted out.
“I did something bad.” I said in misery. “Uncle Randy…..help me!”
If anyone has ever seen a grown man collapse into another grown man and weep they know it’s not a pretty sight. I didn’t see Uncle Randy look at Catherine and motion to the kids with his head. I barely heard him say softly.
“Baby, take them to the next room….i think I know what he’s going to tell me. I….remember this stage.”
Catherine looked at her husband with something close to pity but nodded and took the two kids into the next room. I vaguely remember hearing Jonathan crying and asking why I was so upset. I was that kids hero. Once they were gone Randy led me into his room and set me down on the bed. I didn’t wait to see who was in the room before I suddenly blurted out.
“My Deviless….She was a woman from this Halloween party I slept with….It was….” I said in a half yell.
“Monica.” Came a clear and sad female voice from the corner of the room.
I looked up and to my horror, my mother was sitting in a chair in the corner looking down at her hands. I jumped up and tried to run for the door. All I wanted was to hide from the only woman in my entire life who didn’t treat me like some kind of criminal. I didn’t want her to look at me, not after what I had done to her little girl, but before I could get to the door Randy grabbed me and shoved me back to the bed.
“Let me go!” I yelled, the fear so tight in my chest I couldn’t breath.
“Brandon! Calm down.” I heard Randy snap. It sounded like he was ruffled, upset by something. Not that I blamed him after what I had done.
“Move! Have to run. I have to….”
But before I could finish the statement Randy surprised me and said.
“Hide.” He said softly.
My eyes came up and I saw something that brought me back to my senses. My uncle was crying. For a second I thought he was so ashamed of me he was crying, but then I saw the mixture of self loathing and pain in his eyes.
“Oh honey.” Mom cried sharply and jumped up from her chair. She ran to her brother and seemed to cling to him. “I’m so sorry Randy. I am so sorry.”
“….There is nothing to forgive Beloved.” Randy whispered.
Beloved. Honey. My eyes shot between them for a second and then something inside me snapped and I screamed.
“What in the fuck is going on!” I screamed.
Mom flinched and Randy looked for a moment like he wanted to hit me. For causing her that moment of pain and then finally he sighed and dropped into a chair. Mom returned to hers and looked down at her hands.
“Do you want to tell him, or should I?” Mom asked.
“We will. Together.” Randy said after a deep breath. “You know that your grandparents died when your mom was young. I was 18, just starting my first year at college and your mom was 11. She was on a trip with mom and dad when they had an accident.”
“I wasn’t just with them Randy. I threw a tantrum. I made them go. I was their spoiled little princess. I had to have what I wanted and I was mad they let my big brother go away.” Mom said a little bitterly.
Randy looked over at his sister and forced a little smile and then looked back at me. “Our Mom was surfing and she hit her head. Dad….of course went in to help her and ended up drowning with her. I was faced with two options, continue with school and your mom went into the alsancak escort system or quit school and become her guardian. So I quit and took over dad’s business.”
“Summers Automotive.” I said without even thinking. It was uncle Randy’s business and he nodded.
“I took a few classes a few at night, but more or less I settled down as head of the house. Your mom…she was traumatized. She blamed herself for what happened to mom and dad, so when the nightmares started I decided I would let her sleep with me.”
Randy seemed to see the look of horror on my face but he waved his hand and laughed. “She was 11 years old, I am not a pedo Brandon. Nothing improper happened. Well, time went on and after a year or so she went back to her bed and we settled into a new family. I worked and supported us and she tried to deal with her guilt and the changes that came to all teenagers.
Well time went on and around the time she was sixteen I decided that she was able to watch the house at night and I could take a few more classes. One night I came home around midnight from one of my night classes and found the car of the high school football star in my driveway. Needless to say, I was angry, but I was 16 once so I kind of understood it. You leave a teenager with raging hormones alone and things like that will happen.
But when I opened the door I didn’t hear the sounds I had expected to hear.”
Before Randy could continue mom took up the tale, but she had a strange subdued remorseful tone as she spoke. “The boy’s name was Jeremy Teller and when your uncle came home he was trying to rape me. I brought him back to the house to make out a bit and try and experiment but when he realized i wasn’t going to give it to him, he tried to take it.
Randy ran up the stairs and I had never seen that look before. He was so angry at Jeremy, he wanted to kill him, for trying to hurt me. He almost threw Jeremy out the window, but the idiot hit the frame instead of the glass. Randy beat the kid pretty bad at that point and promised if he ever saw him around me again he’d kill him.”
There was a strange fierce pride in her voice now and she smiled brilliantly at Randy now who blushed and looked down, but I saw a strange proud smile on his lips as well. “She went off to college when she turned eighteen and when she came back after her first year she sat me down on the couch and said she had something important to tell me.” Randy started. “She told me that she was a virgin, and I was ecstatic. I was proud of my baby sister for being responsible. Then she told me that she had decided to save it for a very special man she knew. A man who had held her when she cried and always been there to save her time, after time, after time. Her knight in shining armor. Me.”
I blinked when I heard the final word of that statement and looked between them in shock and disgust. “You?”
“Yes, but I told her that while I was flattered that wasn’t something that could happen. Not now, not ever. She laughed and told me she knew that. The rest of her first day back went off without any noticeable problems. She slept in her room for the first time in over a year and the nightmares came back. So of course, I welcomed her back into my bed, which turned out to be a big mistake.”
Randy again looked down, so I looked to mom. She had a strange flush across her neck but looked embarrassed none the less. Pleased, but ashamed at the same time. “I never had nightmares that night. I used it as an excuse to get into his bed. As soon as he went to sleep I went to work. I thought if I woke him up with my mouth….he would come around. But when he spoke up he wasn’t excited, no he was angry. He screamed at me….told me that this was unnatural. That something was wrong with me. He called me a freak and told me that he never wanted to see me do something like that to him again.”
Unnatural. Something was wrong with her. Freak. These things rang so deep within me. It sounded like they were speaking directly to me and then mom said something that rang so deep within me that a shiver ran down my spine. “And because of how he reacted, I didn’t come home from college again. I was twenty-four before I came back. And I came back with a husband and a newborn baby girl.”
“You blamed him?” I said in terror. “You hated him for rejecting you?” These words barely made I out of my mouth. I was too scared to hear the answer. I could see Monica, thinking I had rejected her. The mere thought that Monica would think I rejected her made my heart begin to hammer in my chest. My Monnie….mine.
“Yes. I did.” Mom said sadly. “And I didn’t spare him any details.”
“She was relentless.” Randy whispered. “She told me that her honeymoon night hadn’t been gentle. That her husband was angry he had to wait until he married her to have her so he was brutal in bed. That it hurt and didn’t feel special at all for her. She told me that she felt used and dirty. Like she was some kind of slut.”
“Mom.” buca escort I whispered sadly but inside my head I saw Monica. In her bridal gown being brutally taken while she cried, while she cried for me to help her. This is my fault, I saw all of this and felt a strange little twinge of jealousy. No one had the right to touch Monica but me, but I couldn’t either.
“I had taken her rightful first time away. All she wanted was to be made love to by the man who had loved her her whole life. I realized then it was my fault. I spent the whole night drinking trying to convince myself that she didn’t hate me for it. Around 2 AM when they closed the bar I took a cab, but not home. I wanted to tell her I was sorry, that I felt horrible. So I went to the hotel where they were staying, but when the door opened I saw she was alone, Tom and Monica were staying in another room so Monica didn’t wake your mom up.”
Randy took a deep breath and then looked over at mom. The two of them locked eyes and for a moment I saw it. It was in his eyes. It was in her eyes. They were young. Mom worshipped him and they loved one another more deeply then anyone could truly understand. “Your mom was dressed for bed. Wearing a nightie that came to her thighs. Her hair was wet from a shower and hanging down over her shoulders. She looked beautiful. I didn’t see my little sister at that moment. The little girl who had begged me to play with her was gone. I saw a woman. I saw a woman who looked so haunted when she saw me standing there. A beautiful women who deep inside still held one single hope. That the man she loved could still make her first time special.”
Before he even continued I knew where he was going with this. I looked from Mom to Randy and saw the look in my mothers face. She looked twenty years younger and happier then I had ever seen her. At that moment I knew. “And you gave her that one wish didn’t you?”
“I did.” Randy said with what sounded to me like a tinge of pride in his voice. “And I made it as special, gentle and loving as her first time should have always been. We woke up the next morning and looked at one another across the bed but didn’t see brother and sister. We saw two adults who had done something both horrible and wonderful the night before. We talked all morning and decided this relationship would continue.”
“Relationship?” I asked. I felt numb inside. All of this was just too much.
“Tom, Monica and I moved into town a week later. Randy and I continued to see each other in secret for years. We loved each other in a very special way Brandon. Those years were the best years of my life. I was happier and felt more loved then I had my entire life. I felt complete.”
“Then why did it end?” I asked.
“That’s a long story.” Mom said and looked at Randy. Uncle Randy nodded and Mom looked down at her hands. “I told you how I felt those years with Randell, but a part of me felt different. A part of me always felt dirty. I always felt like Randell and I were doing something wrong. I felt….cheap. One day Randy and I had decided to spent the day in bed while Tom was running errands for Monica’s third birthday party. He ended up coming home early and found me and Randy together in Randy’s bed. “
“And I was inside her back entrance.” Randy whispered.
And then it all clicked. Why Tom hated Uncle Randy. If I walked in on my wife with another man I would hate him too, and if that man was her older brother, I couldn’t even imagine how I would react. “But…why are you two still together then?”
“He adored Monica.” Mom said simply. “And I told him that if he went public or tried to leave me, I would take her where he would never see her again, but he we had a huge fight.”
The look that crossed my face told mom that I thought he had hurt her and she laughed and waved her hand dismissively.
“Oh, he never hit me Brandon, but he yelled at me. He shouted things I didn’t want to hear, things that I probably already knew on some level. Would I have wanted him, if I didn’t feel like I had killed our parents? Would I have been doing this at all, if he wasn’t the only male figure I had felt I could trust and that I felt wouldn’t leave me?”
“That was when we realized that what we were doing was wrong. For many different reasons. I still love her and I always will, but it was wrong nonetheless.” Randy added.
“Does Catherine know?” And then I realized how much she looked like mom, and how she always smiled in that weird way when she saw mom and I knew the answer. “Yea…she knows.”
“She had a hard time with it for awhile, but once she realized that we had worked it out of our system and that I wasn’t going to cheat on her, she was fine.” Randy answered.
“And things were fine with your father for weeks, until I found out I was pregnant gain.” Mom said finally.
I looked between them and then my mouth dropped open and everything began to make sense. Everything. “Mom…you weren’t?”
“Yes.” Mom whispered, but she didn’t look down or ashamed. “You were tested a few days after you were born. Tom wanted you to be tested as soon as you were cleaned up but your father flat out refused to put you through that pain until you had experienced life without pain for a few days. The test was done discreetly. Your blood tested against my husbands.”
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