Needing Leah Ch. 04

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Masturbation

The story so far…

18-year-old Liam Weber has been sent by his parents to Bryner academy, the only private school that accepted him on a scholarship. Only, when he arrived, he discovered it was a school for girls and that his name had been listed as Leah. With the help of his roommate Ellie, he is forced to become Leah and hide his identity for as long as it takes until he can get himself transferred. Ellie lent him clothes to wear. However, last chapter, after a strange moment of teasing, Leah ended up leaving a slight “stain” in her borrowed underwear, for which Ellie’s fury came to the surface. She promised to wax Leah but she also threatened much more would happen. Will the supportive, caring roommate turn out to be the complete opposite?

4

Why was I lying on my bed? My duvet thrown onto the floor, my body naked. Nothing but a single pillar to try and cover my groin. How was this happening?

Ellie could be intimidating, sure, but it couldn’t just be that! I remained afraid she would kick me out of the dorm, or turn me in, brand me publicly as some sort of pervert who had deliberately disguised myself in order to sneak into a girl’s dorm. That possibility gave her power…but I still hoped she wasn’t truly that kind of person, and either way, Ellie having power didn’t mean I had to just surrender all of my control.

“I was planning on going quite gentle with you, I even have some numbing cream, somewhere. I think we’ll skip all of that.” Ellie called out from the bathroom. I felt tense. I didn’t know what to expect from a waxing. Was it as painful as TV made it look? I hoped not. I waited for Ellie to return from the bathroom, carrying a bowl full of something orange that she put down on my desk.

“Ellie.” I began tentatively. “Can we talk about this?”

“You need waxing, Leah.” She said with a sigh, almost sounding bored. “The more thorough it is, the more girly you’ll feel. This is for your own good.”

“Yes…no…” I wasn’t sure about that point. It wasn’t my focus. “Not that. You…you said you were going to punish me…”

She raised an eyebrow, standing over me. “And?”

“Why are you doing this stuff? I mean…” I still wasn’t sure. Did she find pleasure in the idea of punishing me? Was she genuinely mad?

“We’re not having that conversation now. Yes, I’m going to punish you. I lent you these clothes, Leah. My clothes. Do you seriously expect me to go back to wearing them myself when you’ve done…THAT…to them?”

“They can be washed.” I said, which only annoyed her further.

“I know they can be washed! You’re going to wash them, handwash everything you wear of mine. You’re going to handwash everything I wear, too. But that’s not the point, it’s the idea of it! You’re turned-on by my clothes, you like it when I touch you. Don’t think I haven’t seen you gawking at my tits.” Even as she said it, I couldn’t help glancing, wishing they weren’t covered by her white V-neck. “I need to be able to trust I can sleep in the same room as you. Take showers, bathe, dress. I need to feel I can relax without worrying you’ll try and peek or want to rifle through my worn clothes for your own pleasure.”

That was unfair. My own anger flared a little. “I’m sorry the clothes turn me on and I’m sorry that, when a girl chooses to start rubbing my cock in a fitting room, I don’t find it repulsive. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. This is hardly good for me either, though. I’m lying here naked, for fuck sake!”

She looked a little surprised by my anger, though not daunted. I wanted to get up and move away, only I was still naked and still trying to cover myself with a pillow. There had been a part of me that had been excited at the prospect of being fully naked around her… not like this.

“Funny. That’s the only apology you’ve offered. You’re sorry the clothes turn you on. You’re not sorry for staining them, then? You’re not sorry for the way you’re kicking up a fuss.”

I rose to a sitting position. “Why should I be sorry? You’re the one who was fucking edging me!”

She slapped me. Before I could so much as react, I found myself thrown back against the bed, her hands pressing down on my chest.

“I’m going to wax you, Leah. Afterwards, you’ll be thankful. If you think making a scene and showing you won’t be bossed around, if you think that makes you tough and manly, it just makes you look scared. Are you afraid of being waxed?”

“No.” I said with gritted teeth. I pushed her off, but she was already moving back anyway.

“Are you gonna keep whinging, then, or can I move the pillow?”

There was a long silence, in which I realised how hard I was breathing out of my nostrils. I did need waxing, that much was true, even if not all of me needed it. I wanted to keep fighting. Then again, what was I fighting for? Just to prove she couldn’t push me around? Perhaps Ellie had a point. I lowered my head. “Fine.”

Gently, she lifted the pillow, then smirked. “You’re a little hard, Leah?”

“What?” I looked down. I wasn’t fully dörtyol escort erect but she wasn’t wrong. My surprise made her laugh.

“I asked before: what else would you discover you actually liked? Maybe if you stop complaining, you’ll actually enjoy this.” She dropped the pillow to the floor. “Do you like the idea of being punished?”

“No.”

She laughed, then picked up the bowl from the desk. There was a spatula sitting inside it. “Cute girl. We’ll start with your front. I’ll apply it in small amounts at a time. If it hurts, good. I expect you’ll manage, though. A good girl needs to learn to accept punishment.”

I hardened at that. Perhaps my face conveyed something, too. She looked at both, smiling, before saying. “You like being called a good girl, I thought you did. Are you going to be a good girl?”

“I err…I…”

“Let’s find out.”

I was Liam this morning. I was as normal as I’d ever been. Now who was I?

She began applying the orange gel to my chest. “We’ll start here, that way you can see what it looks like first.”

“I don’t know if I want to see.”

“Lay your head flat, then.” She said, adding more. It felt slightly warm. It wasn’t spread against my skin for long before she said. “Stay still, ok? I won’t have you wriggling. Breathe in first, then out after. Ready?”

“No.”

She pulled. It stung. It hurt more than I had expected. I jerked forwards until she shoved me backdown again. “Keep still.”

“It hurts.”

“Good!”

The second time hurt more. I made a small yelp of pain, to which she chuckled. “That’s cute. The stomach should be easier. Do you want to save the balls till last?”

“I don’t kn-agh!”

She was enjoying my pain. She waxed all the way down from the chest to stomach, then did my arms and most of my legs, up towards the tops of my thighs. She then flipped be onto my back and waxed all the way down. I was hurting a lot. A few tears had spilt from my eyes and my skin was turning red. I was trying my best not to sob. I wanted neither to give her the satisfaction, nor to be laughed at for it.

“Look at these.” She said, reaching my cheeks. “You’ve got a great, peachy figure here, you know?” Her hand stroked across my left cheek. I tensed and tried to move away. For that, I felt a hand swat hard against it. “What did I say about keeping still?”

I tried to relax again but she struck me once more, harder. “What did I say, Leah?”

“You said keep still. Fuck sake, Ellie. Do you have to spank me?”

Her response was more spanking. Five times. I let out a slight grunt of pain. “Is this what you meant by punishment?”

“No.” She was stroking my cheeks again. “That comes way later.” It felt humiliating. The way she was just touching, spanking, playing with my body however she liked…the fact I was compelled to do nothing about it but try to lie still. I was fully erect. I didn’t want her to know that. I didn’t want it to encourage her.

“Can we just get this over with?” I asked, only to be spanked again.

“We’ll go at whatever speed I want.” More spanking. “You still haven’t apologised, you know?”

“No.”

“Why not? Are you angry with me?”

“Yes! I – agh, fuck that hurts!”

“You were saying?”

“I don’t deserve any of this. I feel angry that I’m even putting up with it!”

“Why are you, then? Why not fight me?” She was pinching at my cheeks a little now. Going freely between stroking, spanking, and squeezing them. I had tried fighting already. She had slapped me and said it made me look scared. Was that the reason?

“I asked you a question, Leah?”

My best response was to try fighting once more. I attempted to turn over but she put weight onto my back. “Keep fucking still!”

“I don’t want to!”

“Fight, then!”

I tried. I struggled. She had climbed on my back, however. I was being straddled, her front facing my butt. She was heavier than I would’ve guessed, and used her legs to pin my wrists down. It was then I remembered she went running every morning. She had strength to her.

“Are you fighting?”

“Fuck sake. I would if you let me!”

She laughed at that. Despite my anger, I did, too. She celebrated her victory with a paid flurry of spanking that now, finally, drew a pained sob from my throat. I couldn’t help it. I felt raw, stinging, writhing in pain. She kept going until I was shouting for her to stop.

“Ellie! Fuck! Ok, I’m sorry, just stop!”

“So, you apologise only when I hurt you?”

“No, I just meant…”

Crack! She hit me again. “Sounds like punishment is the right motivation for you, then.”

“Aghh! It’s not, I was just trying to say…”

Crack! “Are you sorry, Leah?”

“I’m in pain!” Crack! “And sorry!” I added. “I’m in pain and I’m sorry.”

“Nah, you’re not.”

“Well what the fuck do you want me to say, then?”

Again, she laughed. Making her laugh must’ve been a good thing as suddenly she wasn’t spanking any more. She began waxing my cheeks instead, then the rest of my thighs, even my crack. Finally, dulkadiroğlu escort she moved off of me and bid me turn over.

“We’re going to do your sack now.”

“Please don’t.”

She ignored me. She was already applying gel, tiny amounts at a time. A devilish grin etched on her face. There was a moment where I hoped she was going to straddle me again. Now lying on my back, I might’ve been able to feel it. My penis might’ve reached towards her. She gave me no such hope, leaning over the bed like a doctor over an operating table.

She ripped the first bit away. It was a tiny patch more to the side than on my scrotum. The pain was still intense and I yelped again.

“You’re going to hold the skin tight here for me, ok?”

She placed my hands where she wanted them. Right on the scrotum now. I felt a pit of dread in my stomach.

“Pull it tight and hold.”

I clenched my teeth.

“Breathe in, Leah.”

I breathed in. I held my breath and closed my eyes. There was a long pause. She was leaving me with the suspense. Suddenly, I felt two fingers gently tapping against my balls. Just enough to hurt.

“A-aghh, Ellie…”

“Breathe in and hold your breath, Leah.” She said, still tapping. The pain was increasing. The tension was worse. She was toying with me. My face was cringing up and I was struggling to keep still.

“E…Ellie…” she was tapping harder.

“Are you ready?”

“Fuck, just do it! Ellie, I can’t…”

“Hold your breath, ok?” She tapping even harder. I was wriggling. I was breathing intensely and I couldn’t stop myself.

“I’m trying. It’s hard, I can’t…just please do it, I can’t keep…”

I screamed. It was agonising. My eyes began to water as she prepared the next bit. I screamed again. I jerked forwards but she pushed me back down.

“It hurts!”

“You baby!”

Again. I screamed then let out a small sob.

“Weak, little Leah!” She teased and patted the side of my face. “Maybe you’ll think twice about breaking the rules, won’t you?”

“A-are we done?”

“With the waxing, yes.” She took a moment to admire her handiwork, then said. “See? You can accept pain. Remember that. Accept it and it can be over much quicker.”

“Quick? That was slow fucking agony!” It still hurt. The redness of my skin was obvious. She laughed.

“Just think how smooth you are now! You’re going to look beautiful when we go down for dinner. Do you feel beautiful.”

“No.” I winced. “I feel pathetic.”

She shook her head. “No, you did well! I mean that. Not many men would stomach to endure all of this. You’re adjusting to a lot for a first day. Be proud.”

I didn’t feel proud. My expression made her laugh, but with affection this time.

“You will feel beautiful, soon enough. Once you’ve had a long shower and slipped into the dress I’m going to pick out for you. That will be a new experience, too.” She sat herself down on the end of my bed. I looked up at her. She dabbed a finger against the top of her chin and hummed a little, then stroked a hand softly up my right leg.

“I’m still cross with you. You still need proper punishment but…you were good, Leah. If you can stay good, things might go easier for you.”

“What punishment? Why do I need more fucking punishment?”

Her voice at least was soft again, perhaps even warm. She sounded almost comforting as she scolded me. “Well, you’ve proven why just now. If you were truly sorry, you’d be grateful for the punishment, not swearing at me. You’re still angry, aren’t you?”

“Duh!”

“And yet you put up with it all. Do you know why?”

“Does it matter why?”

“I think so. You should reflect on it.” She shuffled a little closer until she was sitting right next to me. My head almost brushing the side of her shorts. Her kind brown eyes. I liked them better when they were kind. “You’ve done fairly well so far, though. For now, I’m going to treat you. I’m gonna let you borrow the best clothes I have tonight, just this once. When you walk back into the canteen for dinner, I want you to feel unstoppable. I want you to feel more beautiful than you ever felt as that weird boy you used to be. We’re going to really make you become Leah. We’ll do your makeup to perfection, your nails, everything. We’ll show those two girls from before.”

“Anna and Jojo?”

“If that’s their names, yeah. We’ll show them how gorgeous my Leah is.”

She started humming again, she rolled me onto my front and began stroking a hand all the way down my back, over my cheeks. I felt more relaxed this time. It felt nice. Whatever self-conscious feelings I had had about being naked around her were gone by now. The smoothness of my skin felt good, even if it was sore. I closed my eyes, listening to her gentle humming. This. This was what I wanted. Perhaps even more than the desire I had for her body. Simple humming and gentle touch. I had the crazy, sickening, pathetic thought then that all of the pain had been worth it…for this. For a brief moment of care. I wanted to still düzce escort be angry at her. Somehow, I wasn’t. Somehow, this was all it took for me to forgive her. I supposed that made me pathetic. Maybe she would look after me? After what felt like a blissful eternity, I interrupted the humming to ask.

“You said there was going to be more punishment?”

“Yes. I said I was going to make you regret it.”

“What if I say no?”

That seemed to amuse her. “You won’t. Besides, worry about that later. Right now, you’re going to wash, then we’ll have a little free time before dinner to work on your voice. After dinner, I’ll decide what happens with your evening.”

I didn’t like the sound of that. I was going to put up more a fight next time. I had to, else she’d only get away with doing more and more. Now wasn’t the moment to argue, however, not while I was still naked. I’d wait until after dinner.

“Now, get yourself washed, honey. Your skin will appreciate a hot shower.”

My skin did not appreciate a hot shower. It made the pain worse. It turned out that had been her intention. All the same, it gave me a bit of space to process everything that had happened that day. The strangest day of my life. Ellie had posed the question of why I had even put up with it all. At the time, I had felt like there hadn’t been a choice…now? It wasn’t a question I wanted to answer. The thought I might’ve enjoyed it was too scary to consider. I hadn’t enjoyed it. I wouldn’t. There was no way I was going to accept anything worse. I had, had, HAD to fight back harder next time.

Ellie spent the rest of the afternoon being pleasant enough. Whilst I was in the shower, she ordered me some DD silicone breasts online, as well as a few bits of clothing she felt I might need. Bras, panties, socks, a few tops and dresses. I both appreciated it and was also daunted by the thought it put me further into her debt. She had also left out a clean, mint coloured pyjama top and some matching briefs for me to change into after washing. The briefs were softer and had more stretch than the previous ones I’d worn. Apparently there were one of a few comfort clothes she had spent extra money on to get the best fabrics possible. They felt nicer than any boxers I’d ever owned. Those and the pyjama top, she suggested, would be my sleep clothes. Hopefully I’d only need them for one night.

“Are you sure it’s worth ordering anything? I mean I might be transferred by the time it arrives.”

“Then I’ll send it back. It’s no bother. I tried to go off the measurements from earlier but if any of the clothes don’t fit, we can change them.”

She wasn’t pressing the point that I was in her debt. That much made me smile. I preferred Ellie when she was being nice, even if there was the feeling it wouldn’t last.

We sat and talked on our beds. She listened attentively as I told her about my homelife, my childhood in Germany, how I’d learned English so well. She then helped me practice sounding more feminine and told me about tucking, however the thought of that unsettled me and she was good enough to not push it. She even offered to go for a walk so I could have time to call my parents. That was thoughtful. I told her I’d call them after dinner when I knew my mum would definitely be home. By then it was approaching 4pm. Time to get ready. She had a deep red dress with short sleeves and a gored skirt. It had something she told me was called “shapewear” that helped to hide figure. Around the waist, the material hugged me tight. It was a nice feeling over my smooth, albeit sore, skin. The free-hanging skirt of the dress felt nice, too, and she was right. It did look beautiful. I’d never really ever paid attention to the beauty of clothing before, but suddenly it seemed important. She gave me a purple thong to wear, suggesting that would help me feel beautiful, too. At the very least, I liked the feel of it between my cheeks. I wore red slip-on shoes, which were a struggle to fit my bigger feet into, so she went back to her laptop and ordered some shoes in my size. Then she did my hair. She said it wasn’t quite long enough yet to flow naturally, so she curled the edges. “You do have really nice hair, Leah, it’ll be great when it grows out. It’s not too thin. People always talk about thin hair being good, but you don’t want it too thin.”

Makeup was something else I’d never paid attention to in the past, or even understood. I rarely saw any difference between a woman wearing make-up or not. I’d always felt it was just some marketing con for companies to earn money out of something that wasn’t needed. Wearing it felt…confusing. It did make my skin look better, my complexion nicer. I did look cute. Genuinely cute, which felt strange because I had never wanted to look cute in my life. Feeling it now made my stomach turn, both with excitement and humiliation. This wasn’t Liam. This really, really wasn’t Liam. If I shut off my mind and told myself I was truly a girl, then it felt great to look so cute. It did give me confidence and even excitement…only then I’d remember I wasn’t a girl. I didn’t want to be a girl. Here I was, to parade around the school canteen in a dress, hoping to be seen as cute. How could dressing so girly make me feel so confident and so humiliated at the same time? Ellie painted my nails a dark pink, finished some adjustments to my hair, then stood back smiling.

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