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I was a pretty popular guy in high school, and I honestly attribute most of that to being a bully. I made people feel like they had to like me, or at least fear me, to avoid becoming my next victim. I was huge – a six-foot-four linebacker, totally jacked and over two-hundred pounds. I was such a talented athlete, that most of my coaches saw me going pro, or at least playing D1 at a huge university stadium.  Well… the ironic thing is that I hated myself. Once I hit adolescence, it didn’t take me long to realize I was attracted to men, and coming from a Christian background, the guilt and disgust I felt for myself was absolutely heart-wrenching. Plus, what kind of big manly football player was actually a closeted gay? I tried everything to convince myself I wasn’t gay. I even had a steady girlfriend, California, all throughout high school. She was gorgeous by any man’s standards, even a gay man’s, as well as kind and well-liked. Everyone in school thought her name was so cool, fitting, and matched her tanned Escort Haramidere skin and olive eyes perfectly. She was a real California girl, that was for sure. Whenever she wanted to fool around, however, I could never even get hard enough to go all the way. Once she blew me under the bleachers while everyone else went to the after-party of a big game, and the only way I could force myself to cum was to imagine the team quarterback who was also my best friend, Jacob, doing it.  The next day at practice, however, I bragged about it to everyone in the locker room like it was the most exciting thing to happen to me. I smirked as I shared the details about how California couldn’t wait to get her mouth on my cock – so much so that she sucked me off under the bleachers. This was just so the other football players knew how much I, “liked girls.”  I picked on everyone, especially gay kids, to make sure all the attention was off of me and to ensure no one thought I was İkitelli escort gay. This especially scrawny and openly gay kid, Mikey, was my favorite victim. He was a nerd and the star of the school drama. No one really liked him, so he was an easy target.  One day during lunch I bumped into him on purpose. Being about twice his height, he only stood tall enough to reach my crotch. I used this a cruel joke.  “Staring at my cock again, you fucking queer-boat?”  Mike stuttered, “No- no, Jonathan. I’m sorry… I, I…”  “What’s the matter? Sucking so much dick and taking cock up the ass so often you can’t even talk right?” The group of friends I was with laughed hysterically, then took their own opportunity to make a couple of gay jokes on Mike’s behalf.  Later, after practice, me and Jacob were hanging out in his basement while his parents were away.  “You know, man,” said Jacob, “it ain’t fucking cool how you pick on that gay kid. He didn’t do nothin’ to ya…’”  “The Çapa escort bayan kid’s a queer!” I exclaimed immediately.  There was a long uncomfortable pause.  “I think YOU’RE a fuckin’ queer, Johnny,” Jacob said. Calling me out, he continued confidently, “Every little thing you do with your girl, you kiss and tell the whole team. It’s real disrespectful, John, and I think you do it because you don’t want no one to know you’re fruity.”  For the first time in my life, I was the one stuttering.  “That’s – that’s… BULLSHIT!” Jacob rolled his eyes, “You know, John. I talked to Cali. She said you haven’t even FUCKED HER. Y’all been goin’ steady since freshman year. We’re seniors, John. We’re 18 now! She’s horny as fuck and she says you can’t even get hard enough to do her!”  I felt my face flush red. Gossip was already spreading about. ‘What if everyone started to suspect things?’  … And I think you project your hatred of yourself on to that poor kid, Mikey! I fuckin’ see you trying to hide your boner when everyone is showering in the locker room, dude. Your cock is huge; everyone sees it!”  I wanted to tackle him, to take the kid out. I wanted to fight him and deny everything like I have for so long. The truth was, however, I couldn’t. I had been called out,  and soon everyone would know I was gay. 

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