Fixing Lisa’s Plumbing Problem

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INTRODUCTION blue, yellow, red, pink and purple. She had a pair of knickers with a seascape print of seahorses, starfish, dolphins and shells, a pair with different colored polka dots, a white pair with a rainbow on the front panel, a pair of knickers with different colored ice-cream cones on them and another with different types of fruit.

Sometimes when alone in the house, I would fantasize about sneaking into Lisa and Mark’s bedroom and looking through her underwear drawer at her bras and knickers, then going through her laundry hamper and extricating her dirty panties awaiting laundry day, sniffing all of Lisa’s feminine stains and smells from between her legs. This fantasy only amounted to that; fantasy. Each time I lost my nerve and never could summon up the courage to look through Lisa’s underwear drawer or sniff her worn knickers in the laundry.

Late in March, I was going to be alone in the house with Lisa for a week. Mark’s job sometimes took him away interstate. In early February he had been in Sydney for a week, now it was Adelaide for a week and he was leaving on Sunday morning. Mum and Dad were already away, they had departed on Friday for a two week holiday in Queensland with Dad’s brother and his wife, and Mum’s sister and her husband. I think two weeks away from Lisa were more of a drawcard for Mum and Dad than the tourist attractions of Brisbane and the Gold Coast.

On the Saturday, I made myself scarce figuring that Mark and Lisa might like to spend some alone time together as husband and wife and really enjoy themselves without me there as a third wheel. Their opportunity for this was limited to Saturday for two reasons. One of course, was that Mark was going away for work on Sunday. The second was that Lisa had had her period for the past siirt seks hikayeleri six days, and had only stopped menstruating on Friday.

It was obvious that Lisa was on her period. I had seen her taking sanitary pads into the toilet with her, and emerging carrying flowery sanitary waste bags which she would put in the wheelie bin. Her usual light colored bath towels were replaced with a dark maroon towel, which only came out every four weeks. I had observed Lisa swallowing tablets from a packet that was white with pink trimmings and specifically for period pain. One time I was passing the laundry and Lisa must have had a menstrual mishap, her apricot-colored knickers soaking in a bucket of cold water, the panty saddle covered in red time of the month period stains.

There were other things too. One of the oddest things I had overheard my parents complaining about was their daughter-in-law’s toilet habits, specifically how often she went, the lengthy sessions Lisa spent sitting on the loo, the large quantities of toilet paper she used, and the smells she left behind herself after she finished and flushed the toilet. I felt sorry for Lisa about that, as if her in-laws weren’t critical enough of her as it was, they were also now criticizing the poor girl’s private moments on the toilet on top of everything else, things Lisa couldn’t help.

However I couldn’t help but notice that whenever Lisa was on her period the toilet paper just went and went, and her already lengthy sessions on the toilet were longer. One time this week I had gone into the toilet just after Lisa had been to the loo for a pee, and I could smell the musty, fishy and feminine odor of Lisa’s period around the bowl. Not only that, but a clot of Lisa’s dark red menstrual blood had failed to go down the drain when she flushed the toilet, and was now floating in the otherwise clean toilet water.

And menstruation seemed to send Lisa’s bowels crazy, the luckless young woman’s poo stank absolutely terrible during her periods, like a combination of rotten cabbages, stagnant lake water and sulphur dioxide, and Lisa could not use the toilet spray as it gave her headaches. True, Lisa could — and did — leave a toilet smell behind herself when she went to the loo and moved her bowels on any day, but when she was on her period her feces stank to high heaven.

For the Saturday I went into Geelong in the morning, enjoying browsing around the shopping precinct and enjoying a walk along the foreshore at Corio Bay with its pier and charming bollard statues, before catching the noon train to Melbourne. I caught up with some friends in the city, then went to a party, and back home in Geelong I presumed Mark was getting into Lisa’s pants. I then returned to Geelong on late Sunday afternoon, where only Lisa of course was at the house.

Lisa looked pretty hot wearing a tee-shirt and some denim shorts, her feet bare. “Did Mark get away okay to Adelaide?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Lisa replied, not elaborating.

“How was the drive to the airport and back?”

“Fine.” Again, no further details.

“Didn’t we have nice weather this weekend?”

A shoulder shrug from Lisa. “I guess.”

“What would you like for tea?”

A deep sigh and a whiny voice. “Oh, I don’t know.”

After this, I gave up on conversing any further with Lisa, and we exchanged about three more words for the rest of the evening before we went to bed.

*

Monday morning saw me dressed in my plumber’s uniform and pretty but paradoxically plain Lisa dressed for work at her office in a white blouse, long blue floral skirt and white sandals, her light brown hair back in a pony-tail. Again, I tried to engage her in conversation, and again was met with either one word answers from my sister-in-law, or short sentences such as ‘He’s fine,’ when I asked her how Mark was going in South Australia.

Tuesday morning was something of a replay, the only difference today being that Lisa was dressed in a black and white blouse and matching short black and white skirt that came to well above her knees, and black sandals that showed Lisa’s pretty bare feet.

Again and as usual Lisa was no font of conversation before work, and the most words she spoke was as she stood up after breakfast and said, “I need to go to the toilet.”

I was interested in several things at that precise moment. First, one of the straps of Lisa’s white bra was showing and secondly, her knees came apart for a second or so when she stood up, and wearing such a short skirt I got a brief but wonderful glimpse of her white panties. Thirdly though, Lisa said she needed to go to the toilet, which meant soon she would lift up her skirt, pull her knickers down and sit down on the toilet to do personal and private things.

Feeling the stirrings of an erection in my underpants, I discretely followed Lisa, hearing my sister-in-law go into the toilet and close and lock the door, then a clicking sound as she put down the toilet seat, me having left it up earlier.

It was dead quiet in the house aside from a ticking clock, and soon there was another sound for me to listen to, the splashing, tinkling noise of Lisa peeing into the toilet. I listened eagerly to the sound of my sister-in-law urinating, my mind’s eye seeing Lisa sitting on the toilet with her short skirt hitched up and her white knickers down around her ankles, the toilet water turning yellow as Lisa had her piss.

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